Foundations of Marriage: Part 3

When looking at marriage in the New Testament there are not many examples per se of the actual marriage covenant between two people, but the synoptic authors did have much to say on the institution and clarified much on what was to be expected in the bond that unites two people.

            Although Jesus was not married, at least not in the sense that we may visualize today, for he was and is married to the church which is made up of the whole of Christian believers, he made certain that the institution as we may define it today was to be crowned in permanence, faithfulness, and unity.  In quoting Genesis Jesus stated that, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?  So they are no longer two but one flesh.  What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”[1]  Obviously Jesus thought marriage to be a permanent institution that should not be dissolved by such things as divorce, and in reply to the Pharisees about divorce, Jesus told them that it was from the “hardness of heart” that the allowance of divorce was even made.[2]  Just as the disciples were to stay true to their faith, the married couple is to stay true and faithful to each other, looking to Christ for strength and security.

Wedding at Cana, John 2:1-11

            It is important to see, as in the Old Testament, that the marriage of man and woman is but a vehicle to witness to the greater relationship and marriage of humanity to Christ.  It is, “to be an illustration of God’s covenant in Christ which [can] attract people to come to the love of God held out to them in the Gospel of His Son Jesus Christ.”[3]  In other words, marriage is to sanctify, showing sin through relationship with a spouse, not to necessarily create happiness, though joy will flourish as an overflowing benefit.[4]  It is to, “be viewed in the context of Christian witness in an unbelieving environment, both directly by the husband’s and the wife’s living out God’s purpose for the Christian couple, and indirectly by being part of a biblical church that actively propagates the gospel message.”[5]  Looking at these ideas then, God set up marriage not only for our joy and pleasure, but also to show the world his kingdom on earth.  In this structure, a husband and wife’s marriage will only work and prosper if they focus vertically on God and by doing so become closer to each other.  Picture a triangle with each spouse on opposite corners.  As each one seeks a deeper relationship with God, both get closer to the apex and closer to each other.  If one person refuses to commit though, the relationship either runs parallel and enters into stagnation, or the couple become lopsided and hatred begins to brew and fester.

            Clearly, for a marriage to work the way it was designed to, both people within the marriage must first seek Christ and a personal relationship with him in order to strengthen their marital foundation.  Christ must be the foundation, “Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.”[6]  It must be blessed before it is built.

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[1] The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. Kindle Edition. (Wheaton: Crossway Bibles, 2007), Matthew 19:5-6.

[2] Ibid, Matthew 19:8.

[3] Louis A. Brighton, “Where is the Holy Family Today?” 265.

[4] Timothy Keller, sermon, “Marriage as Commitment and Priority”, February 10, 2010, New York, NY, podcast.

[5] Andreas, J. Köstenberger, God, Marriage, and Family, 61.

[6] The Holy Bible: English Standard Version, Psalm 127:1.