Showing God's Love to the Hurt
There is a lot of pain in this world, but many are ill equipped to deal with it. As Christians we have an obligation to serve those who are in the depths of despair. These are just a few of the reasons…· We are to strive to imitate Jesus. To love God and love people (1 John 4:7).
· “the eternal exchange of companionship that binds Father, Son, and Holy Spirit to one another extends to those Jesus calls to be his followers and friends.”[1]
· We live in a fallen world full of despair, hurt, and trauma. Christians should lead the way in alleviating that pain just as Christ has alleviated the pain and sting of death (1 Corinthians 15:54-57).
Soul Care in the Old Testament
1) Through God
a. Genesis, before the fall, God provided everything for Adam and Eve, so that they could flourish without worry or burden.
b. Psalm 73:24, “You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory.”
2) Through Leaders and Friends
a. Exodus 18:13, Moses’ father-in-law tells him to equip others that can assist in helping others, instead of carrying the burden upon himself alone.
b. Job 2:11-13, his friends see his despair, so they comfort and stay with him
c. Proverbs 11:14, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in abundance of counselors there is safety.”
d. Proverbs 27:9, “…the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.”
Soul Care in the New Testament
1) Through Jesus
a. As “the way, the truth, and the life,” He epitomizes all that is good and right. He is the way in which to reach spiritual health, the truth that will bring you into a correct understanding of who you are as a created being made in the image of God, and the source of your life and all that is good.
2) Through the Holy Spirit
a. Paraclete means helper, aid, one who comes to another’s side.
3) Through Leaders
a. Paul prayed earnestly through others (Ephesians 1:15-16). He encouraged and loved (1 & 2 Timothy).
It is important to show continual support and concern for the bereaved in tangible ways for two to three months after a death – sending cards, making phone calls, writing a letter or email or taking an occasional meal to them is huge. Unfortunately, at the time when the bereaved most need support, people usually discontinue their help.
The best things a person can do are just being with the bereaved and listening to them. You do not have to have an answer to every question they may ask.
Here is the best way to support and encourage someone that is grieving:
· I believe you.
· Thank you for telling me.
· How can I help?
· I’m glad you’re talking with me.
· I’m glad you’re safe now.
· It wasn’t your fault.
· Your reaction is not an uncommon response.
· It’s understandable you feel that way.
· You’re not going crazy; these are normal reactions following...
· Things may not ever be the same, but they can get better.
· It’s OK to cry.
· I can’t imagine how terrible your experience must have been.
Hurtful reactions toward victims may be intentional (victim blaming) or they may arise from ineffective attempts to show compassion by people who mean well (like asking invasive questions regarding the incident, which can cause revictimization and more suffering for the victim).
Below is a list of things not to say, because they shame, blame, or doubt the victim:
· I know how you feel.
· I understand.
· You’re lucky that ___________.
· It’ll take some time, but you’ll get over it.
· Why don’t you tell me more details about what happened.
· I can imagine how you feel.
· Don’t worry, it’s going to be all right.
· Try to be strong.
· Out of tragedies, good things happen.
· Time heals all wounds.
· It was God’s will.
· You need to forgive and move on.
· Calm down and try to relax.
· You should get on with your life.
From KLove.com…
Question: "My friend is grieving the loss of a loved one, what do I say?" - Stacey, IN
Answer: This is a common question or quandary many of us face when wanting to comfort those who are grieving loss. One common mistake that is sometimes made is to avoid the one that is grieving because of the fear of what to do or say. Put your arm around the person and give them a hug. Sometimes the person who says nothing but shows they care by physical interaction can mean more than all the words. Let the person talk about their loved one and don't be afraid of tears, they are better released than bottled up inside. Avoid simply clichés like, "they’re in a better place now" or "I know how you feel." Even if you have experienced loss, it will never be the same because each person handles grief differently. Remember, it's your presence that will be most meaningful in one's time of loss.
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