Talking to Your Children After a Tragedy

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Father God, I pray peace emerges from the chaos that has engulfed the community of Newton, CT.  I pray you send your angels to comfort and minister to all who are involved and hurting. I pray your counsel will aid those in the process of grieving and allow healing to emerge.  In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

During this tragic time I would like to offer some counsel on how to talk to children about traumatic events.  I want to be succinct and simple.

·     First and foremost, we must love them like there’s no tomorrow.  Physical touch like hugs and snuggles brings comfort and security to a now uncertain world. 

·      In this uncertainty, try to maintain a routine as best as possible.  This also brings a sense of safety and familiarity, which will help them cope better. 

·      Listen to your child, what are they saying, what are they not saying? It may be difficult for them to express what they are feeling, so gently ask questions to facilitate conversation.

·      Talk to your child and be truthful.  You do not need to soften the event, but you also don’t need to share every detail.  With that, answer questions they may have, which can dispel myths they may have made up. You know your child, so you should have an idea of where they are developmentally.

On another note, kids will often recreate the event again and again in their playtime.  This is normal and is a way for them to process what happened.  They may also feel sad at first and then seem normal like nothing happened.  Kids can only experience strong emotions in small doses, so allow them to play and blow off steam to calm down.

I hope this little bit of information helps. For more info on coping with tragedy in general read When Tragedy Strikes My prayers are with all suffering from this tragedy.  God bless.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Help For Victims
United Way of Western Connecticut
Newtown Parent Connection
Newtown Memorial Fund


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